Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #15 on Dec 23, 2006, 8:12pm »
But with my words I see his face turn back to me, and the look in his orbs causes me to fill with dread. Don't get me wrong, his expression is not the sort of a murderer or anything like that, I do not fear for my life or anything like that. His muscles have tensed a bit, and he seems more vigilant. Quite the opposite of my intentions. Have I let something slip? Has he caught on to my plan? And I thought I was hiding it so well! He must not be the fool I once took him for. Nay, he seems to be rather sensitive to the goings-on between my twin peaks. Why did I not hide it better? It must have come out in my eyes. Little tattle-tales, they are. It is said they are the windows to the soul. Must be true. If only I could look beyond those brown pools which now gaze at me, but they are clouded by darkness. This, too, makes me a bit nervous, but I'm accustomed to darks. I am, in fact, half dark, and was raised among them. But still, what is he thinking? Does he truly know of what I intend to do? Can't be sure.
But then his velvets draw up to my auditive so only I can hear, his sinister whispers confirming my suspicions. That is the only thing those lyrics could mean- me leaving. No need in denying it, he's obviously not an idiot. But will he allow me to go through with it if I so desire? Judging by his expression, I'd bet not. I didn't think he would, anyway, which is why I did not tell him up front. Well, the sarcastic, yet slightly compliant and evasive act didn't work, so now what mask should I put on? The wild, untamable, unreachable vix? Or maybe the cruel, dark, hate-your-guts wench? Or maybe myself? I choose the last. "Why stay, little cat?" I whisper. "The domain of a feline is never a comfortable place for a domesticated bird." I use the same analogy, my words seeping out from between my lips in a far different tone than what was used before. These are tipped with venom, matching his darkness with my own. Touche.
Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #16 on Dec 23, 2006, 9:44pm »
I chuckled, long and low. That was why I was drawn to this clever vix, she could play my game. You need not fear my fangs. I do not bite, not yet anyways. My orbs once again traversed her sterling form with admiration, but at the same time my harks flipped closer to my boa, showing my vexation. She was a tough nut, I had merely gotten lucky. I did not truly know if she meant to flee these lands, 'twas a bluff all along. But her stance and expression showed that I had hit the mark cleanly.
Why do you fear a master? Did some idiotic stag treat you poorly in the past? This was my own curiosity speaking, I had set aside the games for now. I doubted that she would affirm the answer, or even give me a straight reply, but I was not annoyed, nor angry, the cold dark flowed through my veins, giving me a calm head and an unreadable expression. Only my eyes, seeking hers as if to find a way into her very thoughts, showed any life.
This fae intrigued me so, made me ask questions. Maybe I had met my match and that was fine by me. Don't get me wrong, I would never tire of chasing thoughtless mares with too little brains and too much hormones, that had become a hobby by now. But stepping up to bat against this wily mare was true fun.
I am called Kodiak I have survived 4 turnings I bleed Trakehner I am molded Warrior I tower you at 16.2 I long for No one I am loyal to Neurtals I rule over Charred Fields
Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #17 on Dec 23, 2006, 10:36pm »
Ah, so I've perplexed him a bit. See how his harks tilt back so? He's trying so hard to figure me out, but you won't, little cat. I'll remain behind these bars until you're not looking, for even the sharpest of the toms have to blink every now and then. And when you do, kitty, you'll never see a feather of these silver wings again and will be left only with an empty cage- but no, for this other vix stands nearby, perhaps she can be your little pet. But for now I simply stare back at you, watching, waiting, gaze unwavering, savoring the fact that you can't hold me back, not unless you've got a lot of tact. We shall see.
His words nearly, nearly, ever-so-nearly draw a chuckle from my lips. Fear your fangs, do I, little cat? Is that what you think? I do not need to be afraid to know that in a moment's time you have the power to snatch me up as you would one of your tiny fishes. Of course you won't bite now, you'll wait, for you are a patient hunter. You'll sit staring at me, muscles tense, waiting for the second I relax my guard, and then those claws will tear into my flesh, my beautiful feathers flying, and if you leave anything at all, little cat, it will be nothing but a bald, plucked bird without any pride remaining. I'll be so cold and vulnerable without my feathers, and you and your feline friends thrive on the knowledge that we birds have become defenseless, just waiting for your bleach white fangs to dig into our exposed necks to finish the job.
Fear a master? I never dubbed the cat a master. But he seems to have dropped the cat and bird analogy altogether- not in the mood for games, are you dear kitty? My expression does not shift- it still reflects cool, calm, and collectedness. I'll analyze each of your movements, Kodiak. I'll pick apart everything you let seep through that hard exterior, just like I always have darks. But you're a neutral, and like me are simply letting your dark side move to the forefront. "Fear is not an issue," I reply simply, not in a manner to brag or anything of that sort, but merely state it in a matter-of-fact way. "It is merely a matter of learning from mistakes." I say this resolutely, clamping my maw to finish it. To his second query, I part it once more. "'Twas not one idiotic stag, but two." And I leave it at that. No need for this to turn over into some sort of pity-party.
Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #18 on Dec 23, 2006, 10:58pm »
Why is it that the things you can't have seem all that much better? If she left she would be free, but for how long? No one can remain alone their entire life, and someday she would fall prey to another. I could forbid her to leave, herd leading stallions are allowed the right to restrain their mares, but somehow that would not be satisfying. I could not force her to stay physically either, 'twould have the same effect. It would have to be a battle of the wits, but I seemed to be on a slippery slope.
Freedom is over-rated. I stated it simply, 'twas very true! What difference does it make to eat grass, to run, to live? Sometimes birds, given the chance to leave, would stay within their cages, happy in their homes. This mare was obviously not a joyful little canary, but how had the past herd leader compeled her to remain? Or had she been just as miserable then? Something else occurred to me, slapping me across the muzzle like the mental equivalent of a wet fish (lmao Monty Python).
Do you love someone? Some stag with no land and no name? True love, like freedom, was over-rated. Who wanted love when you could have power, lust, fame? In my cold shell of a body I knew that there was only one I could say I ever loved, my dam, the one who raised me from the shadows and gave me the balance of a neutral. Maybe my question to Aiyanna was out of place, I did not care either way.
I am called Kodiak I have survived 4 turnings I bleed Trakehner I am molded Warrior I tower you at 16.2 I long for No one I am loyal to Neurtals I rule over Charred Fields
Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #19 on Dec 23, 2006, 11:32pm »
My auds flip forward to receive his words. Over-rated? Yes, in a way, freedom is over-rated. With freedom comes incredible responsibility to oneself, and one cannot relax as one can under the reign of a lead. The social desires which are standard in the minds of the equine go unfulfilled, often leading eventually to insanity. As well there is the instinct to remain secluded to a particular tract of land suffers, for one is always wandering. However, that is thinking too narrowly. "In some ways, it is, but by that same token captivity can likewise be over-rated." My notes are smooth, delivered with particular certainty. In a herd, one cannot choose who they socialize with, and are often forced to reside alongside the most unbearable creatures. Also, the stallions are not always wise, and one's life rests upon their shoulders, so one slip-up and you're either in the grasp of a sanguine dark or dead.
His next query takes me by surprise- a love? Why, what would make him think that? I'm sure my face has cracked a bit, allowing a bit of shock to seep through its stony walls. True, I had conversed with a dark brute not too long ago- is it his scent which has caused him to think this? Is he so conceited that he supposes the only reason I would not remain here with him is because I love someone else? I had come to terms with Seth, but by no means did I ever love him. A bit of anger begins to well up in me, but I suppress it. No need for that, now. I speak my words with precision that I might not be misheard, and yet forcing myself to use the same flow as before. "If I loved another brute, do you think I would have hung around here for any length of time?" A tiny pinprick of pain touches my eye, but I dismiss it. No pain, no weakness. Give him nothing. I've never loved, nor would I even venture to think it exists. It is merely a creation of the mind to cause one to think that their hollow life has some meaning. A false belief.
Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #20 on Dec 24, 2006, 1:59am »
Another idea was ruled out, she did not love anyone. I would have to say I was in the same boat as you, lady lark. I had never fallen in love, covering mares was more than enough for me, and when others my age settled down with mates and families I turned up my nose`and continued my wanton ways. Love is a useless emotion, too fickle, too blind. Stags that were tripping over themselves in amour were easy targets. I snorted again, putting my wandering mind under reign.
No, you do not seem the type to linger. The dryness had returned to my tone, and my mood spun around again, lightening to the grey. It was like that every minute of every hour of every day, waxing and waning with the tides of emotions. Some neutrals found a single place, a hair-line crack between light and dark where they could happily remain, but I was not one to stay in one spot for long.
I ask a third time, why do you wish to leave? Clever creature!She had not truly answered my question at all, merely drew me into a spiral of words and wit, a web from which no one could escape. It occurred to me that I should take insult, my looks could obviously not keep her here, but it didn't matter that much. That's what heI found frustrating about this vix, she made me think in strange ways, and it bugged me to no end. I was tired of standing here, of staying in one place for so long and shifted restlessly. Young blood stirred in my veins, not allowing peace and serenity to coexist within this bay bod. But I would wait for now.
I am called Kodiak I have survived 4 turnings I bleed Trakehner I am molded Warrior I tower you at 16.2 I long for No one I am loyal to Neurtals I rule over Charred Fields
Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #21 on Dec 24, 2006, 4:32pm »
I note the slight lightening in his orbs and I wonder if he had truly been all that concerned that I actually had a love already. But no, he is a neutral, and like me seems to be of the sort with mood swings. However, mine shifts more perhaps than most because each decision I make is between light and dark. Little angel shoulder and little devil shoulder are right there, whispering in my twin peaks every moment. Often I don't like either option they offer and make my own middle road. This is not exactly conventional, but it works for my purposes. My expression is currently reflecting a peculiar thoughtful confidence, the anger which previously existed gone. He states that I do not seem the type to linger, and this is only partially correct. Before, I was perfectly happy in one place, and even stayed here for a full year after Sage vanished, entirely alone. If I had loved someone, I would have left this place to reside with him. The only reason I remained was because I still held a small hope that maybe Sage had simply perhaps gotten into a squabble with the darks and was rendered immobile or something of that sort. But then it became apparent he had left for good, and I roamed long enough to make an acquaintance- not exactly a friend, mind you- who is of the dark alliance. I returned when our conversation was finished, and it was not another two days before this Kodiak brute appeared. Why did I come back? Why did I not leave? I had lost all hope- what was left for me within these hollow boarders? And I made the quick decision to leave as soon as this brute claimed the land, what changed my mind? Maybe I had been hoping to simply reside here, alone for the rest of my life. But no, I knew better, for stags are far too greedy to leave a land uninhabited for long. It was a nice thought, anyway.
Before I can respond to his statement, Kodiak has posed the query once again. Clearly he is tiring of my indirect replies. This draws a small smirk to my mug; so he has finally noticed I never really answered it? Took him long enough. Maybe he really is a fool after all. "Need I spell it out for you, Kodiak? I'm through with being no more than a trophy, a possession- property. Disposable. Alone, I'll be owned by only myself, and I won't have to worry about either being tired of and abandoned or set on some mantle to look pretty and collect dust." My face has hardened through the course of my speech, entirely against my will. I spit my words forth like something dirty and disgusting, deciding to just let it go and tell him straight up why I'm leaving. It makes me all the more determined to go through with it, for it's reminded me of my motives. A sneer is twisted across my face and when I close my maw, it remains, as if set in concrete. Happy now, Kodiak?
Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #22 on Dec 30, 2006, 11:29pm »
She seems adamant, her decision set in stone. Why could I not chip away the icy facade that held her mind in thrall? By now most mares would have long melted away, but Aiyanna remained solitary in her choice. A long, gusty sigh escaped my maw and I pawed the turf gently, the grass releasing the heady fragrance of summer.
I do not know of many things that could keep you here... But would a promise work? I may be a testosterone driven bastard, but my word is as good as any others. Inside I cringed, this tactic had never been used before. I had never promised anything to anyone, promises tied you down, made you responsible for your actions. Yet here I was, baring the smallest portion of my soul.
My mind screamed to turn away, to let the wild mare leave, to be content with the many femmes I could find in these lands. But another corner of the grey matter, one unused for my entire life compelled me to stay and stand.
Orbs watched her movements carefully, and I spoke the final, binding edge of the vow. If you stay, and accept my offer and become lead mare, I will never cast you aside, nor give your position to another. If the wish to leave crosses your mind, you would have my blessing, and I would never seek you out again.
I am called Kodiak I have survived 4 turnings I bleed Trakehner I am molded Warrior I tower you at 16.2 I long for No one I am loyal to Neurtals I rule over Charred Fields
Re: Gone away is the Lead, now all Hail Me. « Reply #23 on Dec 31, 2006, 4:13pm »
Rigid determination is plastered about my facade, and I note that my breathing has become a bit brisk. My, I really let myself get excited, didn't I? Easy Aiyana, no need to get worked up over expressing the truth. I steady my mind and my bodice, forcing myself to become calm once more. But perhaps it is not my vocalizations that put me on edge, but a renewed anger. Yes, maybe that's it. I'm angry with that young stag from my past, with Ebony Sage, with the entire stallion race. I hate all of them! But no, I can't let myself think that way. That's devil shoulder muttering in my aud- mustn't listen to her, but I can't exactly hearken to the voice of angel shoulder either- she wants me to apologize for my words, accept his gracious offer and go about my merry way. Again, I'll take the unpaved middle road- I become indifferent. The brute can't faze me- I'll be the better one and stand firm in my decision. I'll leave right now, that's what I'll do. No, devil shoulder, I'll not attack him, nor will I accept him. What more business have I here? If I keep this up, he might find a way to tap into the light half of my brain and sway me. But perhaps deep inside, I want this to happen. I want him to come up with something to change my mind. I don't want to live as a nomad the rest of my life- I'm a social beast. But there's nothing he can say to pull me from my choice- is there?
But then his words catch my twin peaks: a promise, eh? But what could he possibly promise me to give me reason enough to stay? What if he lies, and simply wants to keep me here long enough for me to come into season or become so acclimated to being under his rule that I don't want to go even after he breaks this little promise? I have too much to lose, and if I reject him, I'll lose far less. And yet still I linger- I'll hear him out, I'll give him that much. But as soon as poses some laughable proposition, I'll roll my eyes and trot away. Oh, that will infuriate him, alright, but I honestly could care less. He deserves it for being of the gender of those who have hurt me so in the past. That's not really fair, but neither is life, no? The first part of his proposal nearly makes me laugh- just what I thought. I may as well head off now, no need in hearing the rest. But the last draws my attention: he will let me go should I so desire. Well, I never saw that one coming. That makes it entirely different. It gives me an opportunity to give this brute a chance, and if I find him unsuitable, I can go off without a second thought. Nothing to lose, everything to gain. The tables have turned- seems he's got a bit of gray matter in his head after all to conjure this up, this one thing that may allow me to live in perfect bliss rather than the discomfort offered by the safe route. I sigh, glancing away for a moment as if to think, but in reality I have already made up my mind. Then I turn back to him, wondering if I will regret these words or thank angel shoulder for giving them to me for the rest of my life. "I'll stay. However, should you prove dishonest, it will be your head. That is my promise to you." Well, maybe it wasn't all angel shoulder that was speaking there. Nevertheless, my fate is sealed. Good move, Kodiak. You've got yourself a lead wench.
I am called Kodiak I have survived 4 turnings I bleed Trakehner I am molded Warrior I tower you at 16.2 I long for No one I am loyal to Neurtals I rule over Charred Fields
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